A travel story 'Sydney Beyond the cliches: Hidden Gems' is so not full of 'hidden gems' and is so completely full of cliches that I couldn't resist that little nod to American 80's humor (I just love that scene in the satirical mockumentary Borat where he's mislearning how to be funny). But what else would we expect from The Sydney Morning Herald Travel section which has only itself to blame for destroying the fine reputation it once had by publishing stories that seem to either have been penned by teenagers for school newspapers (read this gushy teen diary-style entry about learning to surf: am I wrong to think that the SMH's readers are mostly over the age of 15?) or poorly written pieces without narratives or angles. Take this one on Sydney, which, for want of a better angle, they lazily pass off as a 'going local'/'insider' take on the city. The amusing thing is that to a Sydneysider (I was born and bred there) none of these things are 'hidden' (but then the writer was a guest of Tourism NSW which leads me to believe she doesn't live in the city), certainly not Campbell Parade North Bondi (every backpacker in the world makes a beeline for Bondi Beach around the corner), definitely not Nielsen Park and Shark Beach, Vaucluse (which even Tourism NSW's site says is a popular family picnic spot; I hazily recall a night skinny dipping there some 16 years or so ago), probably not the 'swanky hotel' she doesn't name, and obviously NOT the Hilton hotel's Zeta Bar. It's the Hilton. That alone should preclude it from being a 'hidden' gem, especially as it's on the front page of the hotel website. The bar looks very stylish - it's designed by Tony Chi after all (which oddly enough she doesn't mention) - but don't call it a hidden gem. What's worse is the 'writer' goes as far as to provide a long list of the many celebrities (which alone can't make it a hidden gem) who have been there from the bar's website:
From the story: "You never know who you might spot, the bar has played host to lots of celebrities, including Jessica Simpson, James Blunt, Snoop Dogg, Nicole Ritchie, Hugh Jackman, The Veronicas, Perez Hilton, DJ Samantha Ronson and Jimmy Barnes".
From the website: "Zeta Bar is fast becoming a Sydney icon with visiting international celebs. Jessica Simpson, Kimberley Stewart, James Blunt, Nicky Hilton, Snoop Dogg and Nicole Ritchie have all partied there... And Aussie A-listers Jennifer Hawkins, Hugh Jackman, Ian Thorpe, and Megan Gale often stop by for a beverage..."
Now that's really lazy. Hang on, let's give her some kudos for some research - it appears she asked the PR people for a couple of extra celeb names to drop. If these 'insider' secrets and the writer's local knowledge and travel savvy haven't impressed you enough already, read these priceless last sentences about the bar's cocktail list: "The extensive menu features everything from the classics, a pina colada in a pineapple topped with cream and a sparkler (p-lease! Was this the first time this writer ever looked at a cocktail list - or had even been to a bar?!), to a cool martini, and the more unusual. If you're really brave, try the bacon-infused cocktail. Tipped to be the next big trend in cocktails, it comes with a rasher on a swizzle stick and a maraschino cherry. It's odd. But it's interesting." What I find odd (but less interesting) is how these 'writers' actually get published. Could an editor have read this story and actually thought this is a good insightful piece of travel writing? I'd be asking for a re-write or an ending at least. What's happened to the Herald? Read Terry's more thorough analysis here: Sydney's odd unfinished weekend. Yep, this one's really had us scratching our heads this week - along with Heston Blumenthal's Fat Duck food poisoning scandal and the even more scandalous media coverage of course.
Pictured? Not a hidden gem but definitely a local favorite, and it does do interesting cocktails: Tamanya Terrace at the Radisson SAS Dubai Media City.
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